Stare.
What more can an empty mind do than to
stare at the blinking vertical strip of black hanging around each letter it
tries to coax out of its closed chambers, at the pen hovering millimeters away
from the surface of the paper? When a mind goes blank and a heart yearns for
words, it feels like milking a menopausal cow. You keep on squeezing out what
little your brain has to offer, squishing and wringing out the last drops of
mental prowess stashed away underneath the layers of academic shit you have to
deal with every single day of your life. You keep at this routine until you
draw blood, and see the debris of the damaged mind sprawled across the stretch
of paper. Until you draw blood, you don't stop picking at the depths of your
brain. Until you draw blood, you don't stop for whatever kind of pain.
S t a r e -
What more can a hopeless heart do than to
just stare at the empty spaces the beloved leaves behind every time one tries
to come close? When a heart goes blank and a mind yearns for words, it feels
like a cataclysm of fierce desires and deep, dark fears of rejection. The mind
keeps taking what little the heart has to offer, taking and gulping and
swallowing until the heart finally offers its last drop of blood and beats the
last beat it has left in it as the mind grasps and bruises its walls. You bend
and break under the pressure the mind puts on the heart and the two are
unmindful of your suffering because your instinct tells you to jump but the
heart tells you to wait and the mind tells you to take the stairs. You keep at
this routine until you lose blood, and see the debris of the damaged heart
sprawled across the look of surprise in the face of the one you loved and never
had the chance to lose. Until you lose blood, you don't stop bulking under the weight
of the war. Until you lose blood, you don't get to stop whatever kind of pain.
Stare.
What more can one do than to stare at the
stars and the moon when a heart and a mind cannot find an impasse?
Stare...
What more can the crowd do than to just
stare at you as your pour your heart and mind out and into theirs?
28042012;
8.09
Stare
S. Shalladeys
Stare
S. Shalladeys
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